No. I'm NOT OK

The other day it seemed as if EVERYONE at the job was concerned with how I was doing. Does it seem that you become more sensitive to these “how are yous” when you’re in a lousy mood?

One co-worker commented that I was normally upbeat and happy when in response to her query I stated that “I was here”.

What the devil does that mean anyway? Why do people say that?

Back to the co-worker. My reply to her was that I am usually really good at hiding my true feelings.

So hello all. I’m not alright, darn it! I want to be home in my bed curled up under the covers only to get out until I’m darn good and ready! If ever.

I’m tired of agreeing with people when something “good” happens and they suggest that it was “such a blessing.” Inwardly I’m thinking, “no I don’t think so actually.” But outwardly I put on a big ‘ole smile and nod my head in agreement. Oh. Yes it really was. Huge grin. OK can I stop smiling now. My face is starting to crack.

I’m human. Life stinks for me right now so I just want want to have a pity party. Come or not. It's your choice. I may never end this one. We'll just have to see.